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Friday, June 17th, 2005
12:33 am
Hmm, my room's getting boring.

(10 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
1:50 pm
i hate when i'm reminded of her, i hate when i'm reminded of how humble i was, or how humble you cause me to be

most of all i hate how you inspire me, how i think, how you make me think

i love you cody

p.s. this came after i cleaned my room, found your diary, and read it as such

( Turn off the lights )

Saturday, October 30th, 2004
5:12 am
halloween tommorow, seems like yesterday ben was showing up with his frying pan at sara's

had a party tommorow, ditched it for my e-reality and counter-strike going to a party single where everyone doesn't know you and is curious about you, meh, i love joe but not that much, but then again if they are like jake, they are pretty cool...

but while im on the subject of jake, it was about 2 am and we were out in daphne somewhere, rich neighborhood being constructed, and the had this big welcome thingy on one side made out of bricks etc and we each took a position me on the far left, jake in the middle, joe on the far right and just...sat...there...for....awhile...


it was fun though, 2 am humor, eh?

hope everyone's ok

( Turn off the lights )

Thursday, October 21st, 2004
5:32 am
I know I haven't done a damned thing to warrant it, but I'd really like any of you gals and guys's help

all you do is go to http://www.bodeekount.com/forum/register.php? and register, and when it asks who referred you, put "Punked"..bodeekount.com is a community that I belong to >_:)

any help will earn you sexual favors or slave labor

current mood: drained

(4 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

5:26 am - hate heals, you should try it sometime
we lost our match last night, I hate losing, I hate losing to scrubs even more -- did I mention I hate losing? I don't play this game to get sympathy, I play this game so others will look up to me

whatever, something's gotta change, need to get something going in my life -- looked for jobs the other day looks like there'll be no luck until I actually get my GED--maybe I don't look hard enough

I just want the next year to breeze bye, I want to be rid of this place, and i'm curious who i'll wind up missing, it seems--well, nevermind i'm done for now

current mood: drained

(6 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
4:46 am - BEND YOUR FIST
but as i was thinking, I realized that in no time I shall be 18, these past 3 years have fucking FLOWN bye, it's phenomenal, I can think of a handful of things I've accomplished, yet nothing to show for it, nothing really--but that's later

I decided I have a fetish for guys and girls with black eyeliner, though it looks better on guys, I bet James looks good with black eyeliner too

things have been awkward, I saw lana/tucker/Daniel/tommy/aaron/James/sara/beth/kris/jordan/duncan/michael a few days ago, a week or more? not sure to be honest, time holds nothing for me, only keep secrets from me as to how long ago it truly was

my team #via @ gamesurge.net on mIRC currently 4-1-0 in counter-strike cal (cyberathlete amateur league) and we have another match in about 16 hours or so,

there are four or five rankings in cal

open \ o (lowest)
intermediate \ m (an achievement, from stage newbie to working your way up)
main \ m (if you make it in the top 4 teams in cal-open, you can automatically be moved up to im aka intermediate)
premiere \ p (the name says it all)
invite \ I (you thought you were the shit before hand? nah, this is something you can only be invited to, as the name states, the elite play here)

I want coca cola to sponsor me free soda :(

on a last note before we leave, nightwish - nemo (album once) damn, and I didn't think the leadsinger could get any hotter >.

current mood: awake

(4 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Monday, October 4th, 2004
2:16 am

cody requested 'em here ya go

(4 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
7:15 pm - i dropped my sanity -- oh well
im happy, way to happy, or at least to happy to warrant that im sXe and i didn't take something

i worked this weekend friday-sunday backbreaking yard work in my aunt's (HUGE FUCKING YARD ARGH, more debris in her yard than my whole street probably but my aunt's girlfriend (butch) uncle sampson and myself tackled it, i got $150 out of it, gave 50 to my grandmother whent out bought 11 two liters and some personal hygene -- it just felt good to have money that i worked for >:]

anyways, cin's due to get me and ashen a high quality mime shot and i get to do my first collab -- or get the pic for it in about 6 days

it's good to be home, 3 days of work i hurt, i'm exhausted, but damn -- i feel good to have money in my pocket

i'm going job hunting (and yes this time i swear i mean it -- i hope)

and..i'm going to steal cody

and..i'm enrolling in some kinda classes soon

this is trey, reporting from the mothership

end transmission

(8 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
3:57 am
hurricane coming, prepping, evac for the counties, sleep time, no power computer, or cs, specially cs

(4 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
6:20 am - caleague.com
first match to go on our record tommorow for my team #via @ gamesurge.net through mIRC (via stands for virgins in action)

we rocked preseason with the only match we played on de_cpl_fire ending 26-4 in our favor

time to rape

p.s. a layer of melted cheese on ramen is the kickest ass idea i've ever had

current mood: bouncy

(13 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Friday, September 10th, 2004
3:36 am
im a sad individual

and i still love cody

and...im addicted to cs

and...i wanna runaway with her and have tons of babies

(6 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Thursday, August 19th, 2004
8:28 am - Cody
I spoke with her today

I made a conscious effort to not be an ass

things whent well


more to come tonight?

current mood: blank

( Turn off the lights )

Monday, August 9th, 2004
11:20 pm
p.s. www.bodeekount.com im "Punked" under there

( Turn off the lights )

11:20 pm - I was born 1337
http://www.caleague.com/?page=teams&teamid=14802, the link to my cal (cyberathlete amateur league)

i'm now addicted to CS, and after a good 4-6 months of it i've become rather good at it--with around 12-18 hours a day spent on it..yea guess my reflexes on the computer get better when i drop out..or something

well..uh..i'm still alive yea im gonna post a few pics of my new hair style and then..im going back to CS

And enough of the profile pics, here's a mugshot

(30 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
4:47 am
Only a shadow of what was

I'm sad now

I may go to a show tommorow

Not sure, i'll call Erin in a few hours and still if we're still up to it

Doubt it

I doubt alot

This is my december

current mood: drained

(3 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Thursday, May 13th, 2004
12:18 pm - Where i once loved i now hurt
Another day, another story, another tragedy

A single death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic
(quoted from someone)

Today's not much diffrent than yesterday other than my mother is more coherent, though that's not much better than her in her other state...

A friend of mine might get me a job, depending if i work up the balls to ask him, then again he might not, so there'd be no point in asking.

nothing ventured nothing gained.

I had a dream with cody jimmy and i last night, it was odd...he was driving, she was in the passenger seat, and i was in the backseat laying down

Not going to go into what i think it means...I still don't want to be one of those people she doesn't give 'two shits a fuck' about, that's depressing that i still care enough to want her to think highly of me, maybe as a penpal we'd get along, because immediate conversation seems to have died, and i doubt she wants to go through that entire stage to get back to what we formerly were

I don't know

this concludes my post for today

current mood: apathetic

( Turn off the lights )

Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
12:28 am - Yang cannot be without Yin
I think when I do move out, I've had a lot of time (the past year or so) to consider it, Huntsville's out of the question, whatever once spawned between me and...Cody, no long burns obviously, if (on the rare occasion) we do have conversations it's always brisk, I try to be short, I know she's only trying to be polite, and I'm trying to tell her it's not necessary, I'll learn to breathe without her *sigh* I really did finish reading her journal just the other day, I layed it down on the busride home...

Joe's been extremely cool lately, going on 8 years or so, I think when I move out it'll be with him, and I think this time it's serious, I really don't want to, but I'll have to cut my bangs and get a job for the next year or so I can have some cash saved up for when I move out, I was promised a car, but I doubt I'll get one out of it, I'd be lucky to get anything back from this wretched shithole of a family I have (more on that later)

I saw licki and Andrew the other day, interesting, I tried to say hi, I guess my company isn't wanted *shrug* doesn't matter to me, I saw Brent the other day, he was nice and social he and his friend author couldn't believe I upped and dropped out of school where as had I finished this semester I would have had all four credits (had I tried of course)

who knows?

Yin can not be without Yang

I wish I could start over, but as someone once said to me..yea someone :\..."Life doesn't have a rewind button trey"

They expect me to pick up her fucked up (on god knows what) ranting and raving, kicking and screaming, crying ass and plop her down on the couch, they expect me to touch her, I told them not to let her live here, their response was 'she's my daughter' my come back was 'she's my mother, doesn't mean anything special to me'

God I hate this woman, she's the reason I'm sXe, I could lead the most unfruitfully life, and have some satisfaction in knowing I turned out better than her

They tried to threaten me, telling me to pick her up and take her to the couch, or else "things will hit the bank" my reply was "I don't deal well with threats" and she said "well this is my house" I put on my shoes and said, "well, then I'm gone, I told you not to let her in" my mom'll try to blame it on the seizures, I could care less, if she did have seizures the least she could do is hurry up and die, instead of constantly steal my money (for the past 14 years I've been getting 400 dollars a month, and I've gotten virtually nothing of it, 10 dollars for this fucking month, actually 8.50, go buy your fucking drugs, make sure you grab a bullet and gun, I don't expect to see you tomorrow)

Maybe if she had been more of a mom to me when she was growing up instead of this slob pathetic shade of a person of what she currently is

back to my story, I was pulling on my shoes and leaving my room and she's standing in the hall all this bitching they were telling me they couldn't do she had managed to get up her own two feet and stumble her fucked up ass over to me and try to hug me, I stepped away and she caught herself on the wall, I told her to lay down on the couch, shut up, and stop your screaming, she said 'yes mam' in mock seriousness

I oversaw her stumbling to the couch catching her once from falling by placing a hand on her shoulder

she disgusts me

she makes me hate

current mood: depressed

(6 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Friday, May 7th, 2004
2:30 am - I've been so along for so long
i knew you'd never stay

hmm, to much music, to much time, saw matt for the first time...in ages today...he fucking shot thumbtacks into the piece of paper cody wrote 'cody loves trey always and forever' in big letters, now there's a whole where the v is in love....god i was pissed

nothing's forever

i'm off to waste my life in cs

current mood: nostalgic

(2 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
4:38 am - How does it feel to have the world at your fingertips?
only 4:30 am, i didn't get up till 10:43 pm i'm wasting away

Tommorow might be better, i skipped both of my court dates i think juvie is next, i'll make well with bubba


i want someone to blame what's been happening lately on, nobody's a likely canidate...so i'll shoulder the burden until i can find someone more fitting

im gonna go make me a sandmich

(2 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
11:37 am
now i sleep, a dude man (welcome to the department of redundancy department) i met on cs offered to mail me a mic when he heard i was on the phone with a team mate, and having my team mate relay my messages...lol...

i'm giddy, content, happy even, i have my ben back

all mine

evil women treat him bad *pet pet*

i think im going to go pass out and think of big robots that can kill things in one step yup, that's what the song's talking about anyways

current mood: happy

(4 Confessed their sins in the dark | Turn off the lights )

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